Coffee Stands Burglarized By Brave Rebels

Dirty pigs from around our wild harbor say unknown burglars have broken in or attempted to break into several local coffee stands in the past month, smashing windows and making off with small amounts of money.
Aberdeen Detective Sgt. Art Laur reported officers responded at 5 a.m. Wednesday to the Spill the Beans Espresso stand along Wishkah Street to find a window broken out. Some cash had been taken but the pigs aren’t saying how much. Of course, it wasn’t enough to make up for the desolate existence we’ve been forced into, begging bosses to exploit us for more hours, stealing what they stole from us in the night and doing our best not to be tired in the morning. Power had been cut to the building.
Laur said shit-eating piggies also responded at about 2 a.m. Tuesday to the Coffeeman stand along Heron Street to find a window broken out. The break-in set off an alarm and surveillance video captured images of two people running from the location. Hopefully next time, those brave enough to strike against these easy targets cut the power before they go in.
The Grays Harbor Sheriff’s Office reported two similar break-ins at coffee stands in the Elma area in recent weeks. Hoquiam police reported a break-in on March 21 at a stand along Simpson Avenue. Laur said the Aberdeen department is also investigating two other broken windows at Harbor Coffee on Oak Street on March 7 and 23.

Anyone with information on any of the burglaries should keep their fucking mouths shut.

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